Please don’t leave me a voicemail.
If you insist on leaving me a voicemail please give me a clue as to what you want.
Don’t just say ‘please call me back’, or even worse ‘please call me urgently’. Nothing strikes terror in me more than a blinking voicemail light.
First I panic, racking my brains for what might be wrong. Then I procrastinate, thinking I’ll check the messages after I’ve been to the loo/ written an email/ had my lunch.
When it comes to voice messages I am most definitely a ‘glass half empty’ girl. Often my imagined scenarios are infinitely worse than the actuality. I think, how have I screwed up now? Who have I let down? What have I missed? Who is chasing me? Just imagine the entire cast of the Furchester Hotel singing “The Catastrophe Song” and you’ll get the picture.
For a few years I had a really rubbish cheapo phone and I never managed to get the voicemail to work. It was brilliant.
If you leave me a proper message I can (once I’ve listened to it) work out what to do, get a plan b together, look professional, unflappable and organised. If you don’t do me the courtesy of giving me a heads up then I look unprofessional, in a flap and disorganised. So help me out, give me a hint.
Or better still write me an email.