Situation Vacant

We have an exciting opportunity for you to join a small and dynamic organisation.

Vacancies exist in the following roles:

  • Arbitrator
  • Botanist
  • Catering manager
  • Chauffeur

  • Chancellor of the exchequer
  • Chef
  • Cleaner
  • Comedian
  • Consumer rights advisor
  • Costume designer
  • Counsellor
  • Dancer
  • Dental hygienist
  • Detective
  • Dietician
  • DJ
  • Economist
  • Entertainment manager
  • Entomologist
  • Environmental Control Officer
  • Filing Clerk
  • Film maker
  • Financial Planner
  • Fire prevention engineer
  • Flower Arranger
  • Forensic investigator
  • Hairdresser
  • Handyman
  • Health and safety operative
  • Hostage negotiator
  • Interpreter
  • It support
  • Janitor
  • Judge
  • Laundry manager
  • Librarian
  • Maintenance assistant
  • Masseuse
  • Meteorologist
  • Mime artist
  • Musician
  • Nail technician
  • Nature conservation officer
  • Night watchman
  • Nurse
  • Palaeontologist
  • Peace envoy
  • Personal shopper
  • Personal trainer
  • Photographer
  • Playtime Supervisor
  • Podiatrist
  • Pot washer
  • Proof-reader
  • Prop maker
  • Psychologist
  • Receptionist
  • Records manager
  • Refuse collector
  • Scene of crime officer
  • Secretary
  • Singer
  • Storyteller
  • Stylist
  • Teacher
  • Telepath
  • Tour guide
  • Vet
  • Waitress

Reporting to:

2 small but exacting clients


Due to economic downturn there is no salary. Also due to various constraints all the above roles must be undertaken by one person.


This is a full time role with antisocial hours and mandatory weekend work.


Working from home but must also travel as and when required

Academic qualifications

None required

Personal qualities & behavioural traits:

We need a patient and resourceful multitasker with proven organisational skills. They must have the ability to work as a team but also a self-starter who can take initiative on solo projects. We require an individual with creativity, enthusiasm and imagination. The right candidate will have a strong stomach and be able to tolerate loud noises. Excellent communication skills are essential as well as a track record of resolving conflict. The candidate must be dependable, dedicated, motivated, hardworking and loyal. We expect that the role will go to someone who can demonstrate the ability to prioritise effectively and work under extreme pressure. The candidate will be knowledgeable and efficient, confident and articulate.

The most important quality is the ability to love unconditionally.
Job Title


My Random Musings

Today’s earworm: Octonauts theme tune

Last night’s different dinner score: 1 (BBQ!)



4 Comments Add yours

  1. Hahaha this is hilarious. It’s the kind of job you can’t imagine why anyone would ever take it on but then you see one of those giggling babies you have nurtured and it’s all worthwhile! Brilliant post. #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It so true!! mums do everything for everyone lol
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. randommusings29 says:

    Its crazy the amount of time and effort that goes into parenting, and when you see it all written down like that it really makes you think. Great post, I had a giggle and it also made me stop and think!
    Thanks for linking up to #BloggerClubUK 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I keep thinking of more…Event Manager, Baker, weightlifter…. oh and then there’s my ‘real’ job to do as well!!!


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